Rumour has it Epic Camp kicks off in France today. First things first – that’s one hell of a lot of fun for the lucky ones signed up. Without the Curly Freight Train and the mildly unathletic looking Fegan it’ll no doubt be even more fun – probably a few could justifiably argue for my name to be added to that list. It’s a fair point and possibly the only one in the world I won’t argue with. Disappointed not to be there – was even hatching a Buccaneer plan to gatecrash Johnbo’s birthday celebrations but pending surgery sadly put paid to that.
So for those that decide to play the game what’s the deal? The deal is there’s a bunch of unwritten and unspoken rules you’re supposed to know. Then when you demonstrate you don’t you’ll be ‘reminded’ of them. Maybe without Captain Phlegmatic Sea Biscuit the ship might be run a little tighter and the rules applied with a little less leniency. Let’s hope so. It wouldn’t be difficult! Real shame the Terminator has hung up his Epic wheels – the guy’s funny as and achieved athletically more than pretty much all the previous campers put together. So glad I made it just before the cut-off. It won’t be the same without someone to tell you your band is too loose on Day One for the 1k band only, hand you a tourniquet instead and then borrow the ‘banned’ band 10days later when supposedly the rules have been loosened as has the grip on the Terminator’s fckn ankles! Priceless.
It’s coming up on two years since the last Epic camp. Where does the time go? There was a lot of banter about the ‘curse of the jersey’ in Canada which led me to write this :-
So now I’ve got the yellow all I need to do is avoid the curse and hence stay out of bed long term, out of retirement, out of jail and out of Vibrams! Wish me luck – although I’m pretty confident of avoiding the last two!
It’s pretty ironic given other than my…ahem…’triumph’ in Kona I haven’t actually raced since after pretty much a decade of unbroken training. Predictably enough the appropriate response to the training load of Epic from a herniated disc is a 2 year hiatus. It did kind of get better post Kona – even enough to get back to some sort of decent fitness – before it prolapsed again a few weeks before I was set to hit my A race. With no Epic Camp to aid recovery I had to plump for the full iron distance rehabilitation course in Denmark with added boat carrying duties just to make sure. Lo and behold cue a year of abject misery only made worse by spending a week in Petro’s company. I’m not the fizziest drink in the fridge sometimes when it comes to looking after myself. Funny cos my mind knows I’m invincible it’s just that my body keeps breaking down.
Reading the above paragraph I’d say from my personal experience the main characteristic to carry away the jersey is being a complete and utter bellend. I guess that means there’ll be an awful lot of candidates in France. Bring it on!
In better news I’m still a long way off Vibrams and seemingly, finally on the mend. Best go row the Atlantic or summat just to hurry that healing process up. I don’t think I’ve retired but it sure feels like it sometimes and life has taken a turn in the last 18months or so…I’m pretty sure I haven’t been to jail yet though.
Enjoy and remember to always spare a thought for shopping trolley guy.